none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
