he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
