i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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