Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize