Cold hands, warm shart.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize