she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
