yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
