I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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