I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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