Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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