what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize