i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
