dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
