and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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