just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
