you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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