I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
