my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hippo gnu deer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My liver just had a heart attack.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
