At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize