I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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