yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
