you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
