true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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