It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
