you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
