Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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