Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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