I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
