ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize