awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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