nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
