I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
