can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
