yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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