my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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