I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
