I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
