I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
