I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
