I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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