that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
