i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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