we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
