I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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