Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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