i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
