Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
