I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
