There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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