this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
