Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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