She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
