so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
