i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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