PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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