Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
