i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
