I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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