How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
