quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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