Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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