ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You made out with two different species that night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
