i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
