u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
