It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
