i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize