Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
