I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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