u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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