Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
