ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
