I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
