It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
