Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
