Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
