I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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