Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
