the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize