You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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