She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
