ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
