it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
