i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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