she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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