You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
