grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
