STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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