wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
