the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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